Finish what you start!
Winners never give up!
Do or die!
Go hard or go home!
We don’t want to be a failure. We don’t want to seem like a floozy… So we keep going…
We stay on course, with our heads locked on the goal ahead, and plow like a maniac trying to hit deadlines and exceptions.
What happens though, when you find yourself heading towards your destination and then suddenly you begin wondering why you even began the journey?
A few months ago I made a bold declaration. I was going to interview 50 badass women in 50 days on Bitches Work.
- I wanted to reach out to women that inspired me
- I wanted to push myself to talk about Bitches Work with strangers
- I wanted to become better at conducting interviews
- I wanted to learn to edit video
(read the original post here)
BOOM. 50 interviews in 50 days seemed like a grand plan to push myself to make moves on my goals, right?
Right! So with reasons fueling my fire I made that ballsy declaration, and started charging.
And charge ahead I did.
Within two weeks I had already interviewed 15 women. 15 amazing incredible women that I loved so much I was ecstatic to share them on this site.
But then something happened…
YES I was pushing myself to talk to strangers about Bitches Work, YES I was reaching out to women that inspired me, YES I was becoming better at conduct interviews, and YES I was learning how to edit videos… but something felt off.
With each new interview I posted on the YouTube channel followed by a Facebook update and e-mail blast, I began to feel a knot in my stomach beginning to form.
I began wondering, was I really giving each woman’s message proper time to be shared and listen too? Was I posting too quickly and moving into “spam” territory?
I also began noticing how the intense schedule was affecting me physically and emotionally. From rise and shine to beddy bye time I would spend every waking moment in front of my computer – reaching out to women, setting up interviews, interviewing, editing footage, posting the interview, and promoting.
Sure, I was making progress on my goals and heading towards my destination, but I couldn’t shake the thought, “did I really need to interview 50 women in 50 days?”
If I were to do 25 interviews in 50 days, would I still make progress on all my goals? How about if I were to do 10 interviews in 50 days? How about just 1 interview every week?
Of course the answer was an overwhelming YES.
Even if I just did 1 interview every month I could still continue to make progress on my goals.
Yet, I couldn’t seem to shake a sort of guilt. A guilt that seemed ludicrous yet binding.
I WANTED to stop my 50 in 50 goal. I WANTED to space out each interview. Why couldn’t bring myself to admit this to anyone other than myself…
I hate to admit it, but when I began digging deeper and deeper into this binding sort of guilt I started to realize it wasn’t guilt that was tying me down.
What it really was, was my own fear.
In my head I had made this quote-on-quote HUGE declaration. I had made a public goal. “What were people going to think of me,” I wondered? “What would I think of myself,” I questioned?
As time continued to drag on, and as the knots in my stomach continued to ball up, I finally came to a point where I needed to slap some sense into myself.
What was really going?
Was I really a failure if I decided not to do 50 in 50 days? Was I really going to be a failure if I decided to post less frequently?
No matter what, as long as I continued interviewing women I would still making progress towards each of my goals regardless to how frequently I posted.
I realized I was my biggest critic. I was fearful of failing myself.
Once I admitted this to myself I felt all of the knots in my stomach start to loosen. Nobody was holding me to my goal as much as I was.
I was in control of the amount of pressure I wanted to put on myself.
Sometimes we impose these crazy deadlines on ourselves.
Loss 15 pounds by June. Become an associate by 25. Buy a house by 30.
Sure, personal deadlines are helpful. Sure, they help motivate us and steer us towards our goal. But in the end are our own man-made deadlines.
Nobody cared as much about me changing my goal or direction as much as I did.
Nobody was going to sit there and de-friend me on Facebook or unfollow me on Twitter.
Nobody was going to start sending me hate mail, bullying me on how I had become a failure.
Again I was my biggest critic. I was in charge of the amount of pressure I put on myself.
With that, I have a new declaration to make. Starting this week I’ll revoking my promise and posting when I can.
In doing this I hope that nasty little knot that’s been messing with my tummy will subside. In doing this I hope that I will be able to give each woman proper time to be promoted. And lastly in doing this I hope that I will be able to give a little life back to my goals.
This hasn’t been an easy post for me to write, but if there is anyone out there going through something similar I hope the lessons I’ve learned will help you as well
- Listen to your body. It can be a whole lot smarter than that monkey mind of yours.
- Don’t get lost in the first course you plot. Take the time to make sure you are on the right track, and re-calibrate if you aren’t
- Remember that you are your biggest critic.
- Lastly, you are the master of your own fate don’t let your goals define you