Start Now

start-now-bitches-work

“Start now,” that’s what I need to remind myself of today…

I’ve been going around and around about when and how to announce the re-branding Bitches Work, but nothing feels right.

I keep thinking…  How am I supposed to tell people?  Should I be doing more of a build up?  Has it been too long?  Will people still be following me…?  Around and around down that rabbit hole spiral we all know.

Too often we get stuck in a rut.  We procrastinate.  We doubt.

For me I’ve been looking for a right time.  A right way.

The longer I wait though, the more it has me thinking, is there a right way and a right time?  How do you even go about determining when something is right?

Too often it seems like we are waiting for “right,” but what we are really waiting for is a sign.

A sign that everything will be okay, that we are prepared, that we won’t fail, that people will still stand by us.

The thing is, this so called “sign” isn’t something I think we should stop our lives for, waiting anxiously as if it were like the mailman coming.

Sometimes we need to create our own sign.

We need to reassure ourselves that everything will be okay.

We need to reassure ourselves that we are prepared.

We need to reassure ourselves that we won’t fail, because the only failure is giving up.

We need to reassure ourselves that it’s okay to start.

And that’s what I’m doing today.  So with that, bah-dah-dah-dummmm, the new site is up and live!

Check it out at BitchesWork.com!

 

Why Keeping a Bucket List is a Must

why-keep-bucket-list

We all have our bucket list.  Maybe it’s on paper, maybe it’s in our mind – but we all have that list…

That list of our hopes and dreams, of things we wish to do, learn, see, accomplish.

I don’t know about you, but many times mine feels like a brutal reminder of what I haven’t done… that I haven’t found the time, even though I know it’s available… that I’m scared to try out of fear of failure… or worse that I’ve failed to keep persisting when I tried without success.

Sometimes it seems easier to just erase some of the goals I set for myself.  Pretend I’ve had a change of heart and that it’s no longer important for me. Maybe just give in, and say, “It is what it is,” and accept life as an unchangeable object.

Yet still, I keep my bucket list.

I keep my bucket list because I know, no matter how long it takes, or how scary it feels, these are deep dreams I have for myself.

Because I know that erasing this list is like giving up on myself.

Because I know that with a determined heart I can make anything happen.

And I know that this is the same for you.

I know that no matter how heavy it may weight on your mind, how much you’d like to just throw in the towel and just say, “It is what it is,” like I sometimes do, it is worth it to keep your bucket list.

We have to push through and keep our dreams alive. If we don’t who else will?

Pretty soon I’ll be checking off cross country trip from my bucket list. Follow along, I’ll be posting my adventures on Instagram @kathlynhart

Get Out of the Way of a Woman on a Mission

dont-mess-with-woman-on-a-mission

“You have to be fanatical.  You do not give up. You do not take it too personally, you figure out how you are going to get up.  You do not let people talk you out of  your dreams, you do not let them tell you no.  And you OWN that you have to convince them.”

Ummm love it!  Wise words from Mellody Hobson (the Chairman of the Board of Trustees of Ariel Mutual Funds and the Chairman of DreamWorks Animation SKG, Inc..) on advice to the next generation:

 
 

Pantene’s “Not Sorry” Video Stirring the Pot

sorry-not-sorry

Have you seen the new Pantene “Not Sorry” video for women for their #ShineStrong?

The commercial highlights how often women say sorry, and encourages them to be strong and stop apologizing.

Sounds good right?

That’s what I though.  My initial reaction was “AMMMMEEENNN!”  I say sorry ALL the time, and I know it’s something I need to work on, so naturally I was happy to see Pantene encouraging women to do the same.

To show my support I went to go hit the “Like” button…  and that’s when it slapped me.

Out of a whopping 1,025,769 views as of this morning, there were 1,849 dislikes, vs. 2,095 likes.  WHATTTT??

(update now one month later there are over 13 million views and STILL close to 50% are dislikes)

pantene-sorry-not-sorry-shine-strong-commercial-bitches-work

Now you bet your buns I headed over to the comments to see what the ruckus was all about.  There I found something I dumbly wasn’t expecting.  Hoards of men (and some women) saying sarcastic comments along the line of, “Yes, because only women say sorry…”

O-M-G.  Come onnnnnn people seriously?  No sh*t duh, women aren’t the only ones apologizing, but this is a commercial for women!  For every video encouraging young boys to play sports I don’t sit there disliking it because girls should be encouraged to play sports too.

I’ll admit I’m a little heated.  For me it’s just a commercial folks with a positive message for women.  What do you think though?  Do you think this puts a more positive or negative message out there into the world?

Watch the video if you haven’t already, and if you like it, show your love with a good-ole “thumbs up.”

Don’t Let Your Goals Define You

 

master-of-your-own-fateFinish what you start!

Winners never give up!

Do or die!

Go hard or go home!

Why?

We don’t want to be a failure.  We don’t want to seem like a floozy… So we keep going…

We stay on course, with our heads locked on the goal ahead, and plow like a maniac trying to hit deadlines and exceptions.

What happens though, when you find yourself heading towards your destination and then suddenly you begin wondering why you even began the journey?

A few months ago I made a bold declaration.  I was going to interview 50 badass women in 50 days on Bitches Work.

Why?  Well…

  1. I wanted to reach out to women that inspired me
  2. I wanted to push myself to talk about Bitches Work with strangers
  3. I wanted to become better at conducting interviews
  4. I wanted to learn to edit video

(read the original post here)

BOOM.  50 interviews in 50 days seemed like a grand plan to push myself to make moves on my goals, right?

Right!  So with reasons fueling my fire I made that ballsy declaration, and started charging.

And charge ahead I did.

Within two weeks I had already interviewed 15 women.  15 amazing incredible women that I loved so much I was ecstatic to share them on this site.

But then something happened…

YES I was pushing myself to talk to strangers about Bitches Work, YES I was reaching out to women that inspired me, YES I was becoming better at conduct interviews, and YES I was learning how to edit videos… but something felt off.

With each new interview I posted on the YouTube channel followed by a Facebook update and e-mail blast, I began to feel a knot in my stomach beginning to form.

I began wondering, was I really giving each woman’s message proper time to be shared and listen too?  Was I posting too quickly and moving into “spam” territory?

I also began noticing how the intense schedule was affecting me physically and emotionally.  From rise and shine to beddy bye time I would spend every waking moment in front of my computer – reaching out to women, setting up interviews, interviewing, editing footage, posting the interview, and promoting.

Sure, I was making progress on my goals and heading towards my destination, but I couldn’t shake the thought, “did I really need to interview 50 women in 50 days?

If I were to do 25 interviews in 50 days, would I still make progress on all my goals?  How about if I were to do 10 interviews in 50 days?  How about just 1 interview every week?

Of course the answer was an overwhelming YES.

Even if I just did 1 interview every month I could still continue to make progress on my goals.

Yet, I couldn’t seem to shake a sort of guilt.  A guilt that seemed ludicrous yet binding.

I WANTED to stop my 50 in 50 goal.  I WANTED to space out each interview.  Why couldn’t bring myself to admit this to anyone other than myself…

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I hate to admit it, but when I began digging deeper and deeper into this binding sort of guilt I started to realize it wasn’t guilt that was tying me down.

What it really was, was my own fear.

In my head I had made this quote-on-quote HUGE declaration.  I had made a public goal.  ”What were people going to think of me,” I wondered?  ”What would I think of myself,” I questioned?

As time continued to drag on, and as the knots in my stomach continued to ball up, I finally came to a point where I needed to slap some sense into myself.

What was really going?  

Was I really a failure if I decided not to do 50 in 50 days?  Was I really going to be a failure if I decided to post less frequently?

NO

No matter what, as long as I continued interviewing women I would still making progress towards each of my goals regardless to how frequently I posted.

I realized I was my biggest critic.  I was fearful of failing myself.

Once I admitted this to myself I felt all of the knots in my stomach start to loosen.  Nobody was holding me to my goal as much as I was.

I was in control of the amount of pressure I wanted to put on myself.

 —————————————————–

Sometimes we impose these crazy deadlines on ourselves.

Loss 15 pounds by June.  Become an associate by 25.  Buy a house by 30.

Sure, personal deadlines are helpful.  Sure, they help motivate us and steer us towards our goal.  But in the end are our own man-made deadlines.

Nobody cared as much about me changing my goal or direction as much as I did.

Nobody was going to sit there and de-friend me on Facebook or unfollow me on Twitter.

Nobody was going to start sending me hate mail, bullying me on how I had become a failure.

Again I was my biggest critic.  I was in charge of the amount of pressure I put on myself.

With that, I have a new declaration to make.  Starting this week I’ll revoking my promise and posting when I can.

In doing this I hope that nasty little knot that’s been messing with my tummy will subside.  In doing this I hope that I will be able to give each woman proper time to be promoted.  And lastly in doing this I hope that I will be able to give a little life back to my goals.

This hasn’t been an easy post for me to write, but if there is anyone out there going through something similar I hope the lessons I’ve learned will help you as well :)

Takeaways

  1. Listen to your body.  It can be a whole lot smarter than that monkey mind of yours.
  2. Don’t get lost in the first course you plot.  Take the time to make sure you are on the right track, and re-calibrate if you aren’t
  3. Remember that you are your biggest critic.
  4. Lastly, you are the master of your own fate don’t let your goals define you  :)