Don’t Let Your Goals Define You


master-of-your-own-fateFinish what you start!

Winners never give up!

Do or die!

Go hard or go home!


We don’t want to be a failure.  We don’t want to seem like a floozy… So we keep going…

We stay on course, with our heads locked on the goal ahead, and plow like a maniac trying to hit deadlines and exceptions.

What happens though, when you find yourself heading towards your destination and then suddenly you begin wondering why you even began the journey?

A few months ago I made a bold declaration.  I was going to interview 50 badass women in 50 days on Bitches Work.

Why?  Well…

  1. I wanted to reach out to women that inspired me
  2. I wanted to push myself to talk about Bitches Work with strangers
  3. I wanted to become better at conducting interviews
  4. I wanted to learn to edit video

(read the original post here)

BOOM.  50 interviews in 50 days seemed like a grand plan to push myself to make moves on my goals, right?

Right!  So with reasons fueling my fire I made that ballsy declaration, and started charging.

And charge ahead I did.

Within two weeks I had already interviewed 15 women.  15 amazing incredible women that I loved so much I was ecstatic to share them on this site.

But then something happened…

YES I was pushing myself to talk to strangers about Bitches Work, YES I was reaching out to women that inspired me, YES I was becoming better at conduct interviews, and YES I was learning how to edit videos… but something felt off.

With each new interview I posted on the YouTube channel followed by a Facebook update and e-mail blast, I began to feel a knot in my stomach beginning to form.

I began wondering, was I really giving each woman’s message proper time to be shared and listen too?  Was I posting too quickly and moving into “spam” territory?

I also began noticing how the intense schedule was affecting me physically and emotionally.  From rise and shine to beddy bye time I would spend every waking moment in front of my computer - reaching out to women, setting up interviews, interviewing, editing footage, posting the interview, and promoting.

Sure, I was making progress on my goals and heading towards my destination, but I couldn’t shake the thought, “did I really need to interview 50 women in 50 days?

If I were to do 25 interviews in 50 days, would I still make progress on all my goals?  How about if I were to do 10 interviews in 50 days?  How about just 1 interview every week?

Of course the answer was an overwhelming YES.

Even if I just did 1 interview every month I could still continue to make progress on my goals.

Yet, I couldn’t seem to shake a sort of guilt.  A guilt that seemed ludicrous yet binding.

I WANTED to stop my 50 in 50 goal.  I WANTED to space out each interview.  Why couldn’t bring myself to admit this to anyone other than myself…


I hate to admit it, but when I began digging deeper and deeper into this binding sort of guilt I started to realize it wasn’t guilt that was tying me down.

What it really was, was my own fear.

In my head I had made this quote-on-quote HUGE declaration.  I had made a public goal.  “What were people going to think of me,” I wondered?  “What would I think of myself,” I questioned?

As time continued to drag on, and as the knots in my stomach continued to ball up, I finally came to a point where I needed to slap some sense into myself.

What was really going?  

Was I really a failure if I decided not to do 50 in 50 days?  Was I really going to be a failure if I decided to post less frequently?


No matter what, as long as I continued interviewing women I would still making progress towards each of my goals regardless to how frequently I posted.

I realized I was my biggest critic.  I was fearful of failing myself.

Once I admitted this to myself I felt all of the knots in my stomach start to loosen.  Nobody was holding me to my goal as much as I was.

I was in control of the amount of pressure I wanted to put on myself.


Sometimes we impose these crazy deadlines on ourselves.

Loss 15 pounds by June.  Become an associate by 25.  Buy a house by 30.

Sure, personal deadlines are helpful.  Sure, they help motivate us and steer us towards our goal.  But in the end are our own man-made deadlines.

Nobody cared as much about me changing my goal or direction as much as I did.

Nobody was going to sit there and de-friend me on Facebook or unfollow me on Twitter.

Nobody was going to start sending me hate mail, bullying me on how I had become a failure.

Again I was my biggest critic.  I was in charge of the amount of pressure I put on myself.

With that, I have a new declaration to make.  Starting this week I’ll revoking my promise and posting when I can.

In doing this I hope that nasty little knot that’s been messing with my tummy will subside.  In doing this I hope that I will be able to give each woman proper time to be promoted.  And lastly in doing this I hope that I will be able to give a little life back to my goals.

This hasn’t been an easy post for me to write, but if there is anyone out there going through something similar I hope the lessons I’ve learned will help you as well :)


  1. Listen to your body.  It can be a whole lot smarter than that monkey mind of yours.
  2. Don’t get lost in the first course you plot.  Take the time to make sure you are on the right track, and re-calibrate if you aren’t
  3. Remember that you are your biggest critic.
  4. Lastly, you are the master of your own fate don’t let your goals define you  :)

4 thoughts on “Don’t Let Your Goals Define You

  • June 16, 2021 at 1:00 pm

    There would not have been an invaluable lesson had you not decide to charge ahead with an interview a day. :)

    We should be able to adapt and make necessary adjustments along the way. And that might mean changing your system of an interview a day. Or whatever goal that might be. So long as you’re aware of the bigger picture and progressing for the better, it’s all good.

    Great article. I sure can relate. :)

  • June 16, 2021 at 7:25 pm

    Love this post!!! Don’t let your goals define you, word.

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